Cluelessly content

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There are times in life when you just want to do nothing. Nothing at all. Simply be bekaar, as put in a typically Bengali way. You are never really happy with what you have, especially in today’s age, but you can be content till an extent. It is actually a feat to be cluelessly content. Being clueless about anything is usually considered a sin, and being content with it, is a cardinal one.
This phase of life I am in, I feel content, even if I am not doing anything meaningful. Others would probably consider me insane. Or useless. But for certain times in life, maybe being happy with being useless matters. Especially if you have had your fair share of doing the running around. As long as it is of no harm to yourself or to others, it is okay to not have a clue about what to do next.
I sit and wonder why am I having this feeling. Why do I feel I am in a secure zone? Why do I feel it is okay to sit around while doing nothing? Some pockets of my mind try to scream out in muffled tones, ” get up and get going girl!” I try to shake out of my shell. But then, as I sink back into my layers, I close my eyes and feel the peace.
Actually, this is a privilege I can enjoy for some moments till I wake up again. It is something which only will last for a while, at least for me. Till the time I feel happy with being clueless, I should try and enjoy it. For as soon as I get a clue about my next move, the race begins again. So this time when I feel I need nothing, is a dreamy delight, real or unreal.

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